（轉錄）龐德致曹操︰關於戰勝關羽的可行性報告
敬愛的魏王千歲︰ 您好﹗ 我是龐德──就是您一直記不住名字，老是稱呼我“那個誰……那個綠臉的誰”那個。首先，我對自己今天上午的表現向您道歉︰在您詢問誰敢協助於禁將軍去戰關羽的時候，我從最後面跳出來，使得您和大家都受到驚嚇了，李典將軍當眾還怒斥我是“癩蛤蟆蹦腳面”──請允許我為自己鹵莽的態度、醜陋的外表和困難的聲帶再次向您道歉﹗ 自從前年在漢中歸順於您以來，我一直深入學習您關於“力為曹所出，馬為曹所騎，刀為操所用”的光輝思想，無時無刻不在想著為您的篡漢統一事業作出自己的貢獻，現下，關羽侵犯襄、樊，情勢危機，正是我報效大魏的好時機，因此過於興奮，請魏王諒解。末將這次請命，不是出於一時的衝動，而是本著您“理論聯繫實際”的教導，進行了深入的研究，並認為這次我有相當的把握戰勝關羽，挫他“三十年不敗”的聲價，進而為曹仁將軍解圍，為您的偉大事業作出新的、應有的貢獻。以下是本人關於戰勝關羽的可行性論證，請您審閱── 第一部分︰關羽的搏鬥資料及其分析 具不完全統計，關羽自25歲出世以來，進行的搏鬥有記錄的是27場，其中一對一單挑共23場（參見附錄1）。其單挑戰績為︰20勝，3平，0負──這個戰績是令人恐懼的，其得到戰神的綽號並威震華夏，的確是有這個實力的。透過對關羽具體格鬥記錄的分析，我發現其格鬥特徵如下︰ 1，斬殺率極高。在20場勝利中，其斬殺對手為16場，斬殺率為80\%﹗另有一人被生擒（王忠），一人被嚇跑（呂常），二人次被戰敗（夏侯敦2次）。 2，取勝速度極其迅速。其取勝記錄中，一回合即斬殺或生擒對手為10場，占43。5\%，十回合以下的為8場，約占34。7\%。 3，持久戰取勝艱難。十回合以上的為3場（華雄、管亥、蔡陽），僅僅為13。1\%。（另外兩場為夏侯敦將軍詐敗。） ──透過以上分析，可見關羽的格鬥訣竅可概括為︰速度快、力量大、下手狠、刀法準。這是一種人、馬、刀三位一體，速戰速決的戰鬥方法，關羽身高9尺，合西尺2。14米，體重115公斤，爆發力極其驚人，其赤兔馬的絕對衝擊速度可達530碼。因此，許多戰鬥力甚至本來和他差不多的戰將如顏良、文丑等人都吃了他“快、準、狠”的虧，這也是需要我們引起極端重視的。 第二部分︰我們戰勝關羽的機會在那裡？ 我認真分析了關羽23場決斗中平局的戰例︰與管亥30合戰平，與黃鐘2次戰平的記錄，發現，關羽的格鬥技巧並非無懈可擊︰ 1，只要堅持10個回合，關羽取勝就極其困難──其持久作戰後殺傷力將大大折扣。這裡最關鍵的是鼎住其頭三個回合的衝擊。 2，暗器的使用。關羽平生不喜歡用暗器，對暗器的預防也是他的弱項，尤其是左臂︰比如過五關時曾經被韓福射中左臂──這裡是他的軟肋﹗如果使用暗器，戰勝關羽的機會會增加很多。比如黃鐘，如果不是手下留情，關羽早沒命了。在這方面，他比張飛、馬超、黃忠要弱。 3，年齡的問題。關羽現下已經是58歲的人了，根據曹仁將軍從前線傳來的資料，關羽目前的體重似乎已經接近260公斤，其速度，力量一定不如當年了。更要命的是他的性格︰因為愛面子，他不肯換一把稍微輕便一點的武器，仍然使用他82斤的寶刀，以至於力不從心；因為重感情，他沒有換一匹年輕一點的馬，而是仍然乘坐魏王賜的赤兔獸，現下它的絕對衝擊速度估計不超過420碼。 ──總上，關羽現下的戰鬥力應當不足40歲時的65\%了，而我的戰鬥力，經過徐晃等將軍的測驗，和當年的顏良相當，只是略遜於文丑和華雄，因此只要策略得當，戰勝關羽是完全可能的﹗ 第三部分︰我的具體計畫 1，和關羽開始交戰，我堅決不能看他的臉（很多人就是因此被驚嚇送命的），而是緊緊盯著他的刀﹗ 2，充分利用自己年齡的優勢，爭取多與他發生兵器的直接碰撞，這樣就可以最大限度地防止關羽刀法的變化，把他拖住。只要十回合之內沒有被斬，那麼關羽取勝的機會將大大降低﹗ 3，利用持久戰把守關口羽激怒，然後利用他急於獲勝的心理引誘他追趕──以暗箭傷之。他現下身體發福，閃躲動作退化，這一箭即使不能取他性命，也必然傷之，我再從而趕上，即使不能取其首級，也必將大敗之﹗ 尊敬的魏王，如果我的申請得到了您的允許，我將以您“三為”的光輝思想為指導，爭取最後的勝利。如果我的申請沒有被您接受，我將更加努力刻苦地學習，儘早達到一個合格大將的思想和作戰水準。現下，您身邊的大將基本上都是和關羽一樣，出生於上世紀60年代，該是我們80年代出生的年輕人出頭的時候了，我們一定鼓起勇氣、堅定信心，把更重的擔子挑起來──請魏王看我的行動吧﹗ 此致 敬禮 龐德（令明）上 ----------------------------------------------- 附錄1︰關羽三十年搏鬥資料統計（根據羅貫中同志材料整理） 1，程遠志︰一刀批（第一回）； 2，華雄︰ 斗殺（第四回）； 3，呂布︰三勝一（第五會）； 4，管亥︰斗殺（數十合）（第11回）； 5，紀靈︰三十合平，（14回）； 6，荀正︰一刀劈（14回） 7，呂布︰與張飛二打一，呂布無心戀戰。（19回）； 8，呂布︰與張飛二打一，呂布突圍失敗。（20回） 9，車冑︰數合斬之（21回）； 10，王忠︰生擒，（22回） 11，夏侯敦︰十餘合，敦詐敗（25回）； 12，徐晃、許褚︰殺退二人（25回） 13，顏良︰一刀劈。（25回）； 14，文丑︰三合，追殺。（26回） 15，孔秀︰一合殺之（27回）； 16，孟坦︰三合，追殺。（27回） 17，韓福︰追殺（27回）； 18，卞喜︰一刀劈（27回） 19，王植︰一刀劈（27回）； 20，秦琪︰一合殺之（27回） 21，夏侯敦︰十合，住手（28回）； 22，蔡陽︰斗殺（28回） 23，夏侯敦︰數合，詐敗（39回）； 24，黃忠︰100合，平。（53回） 25，黃忠︰五六十合，平。（53回）； 26，夏侯存︰一合殺之（73回） 27，呂常王忠︰未戰嚇走（73回）； 28，龐德︰百余合，平（74回） ────────────────────────────── 以下為後文︰ 29，龐德︰50合，中箭敗（74回）； 30，徐晃︰八十余合，平（76回） 31，蔣欽、韓當、周泰、丁奉、徐盛︰被圍（76）； 32，璋︰三合敗（7677回） 以下為曹操批示︰ ──────────────── 於禁同志，這是龐德同志的一份材料，內容充實，結合實際，分析深刻，轉你一閱。望你本著放權而不放任、管理而不束縛、鼓勵而不誇大、警告而不潑冷水的精神對其進行指揮。密切注意此人的具體表現，戰鬥開始後請你全權負責，視情酌辦。 曹。
摘自網路
2009年3月3日 星期二
附加!第11章
Extra! Chapter 11!
The bloodied newspaper business keeps getting redder all over. On Feb. 21, Journal Register, owner of 20 daily newspapers including the New Haven Register, declared bankruptcy. The company was staggering under $692 million in debt, much of it taken on through the 2004 acquisition of four papers in economically depressed Michigan. Two days after Journal Register's filing, Philadelphia Media Holdings, which bought the Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News from McClatchy in 2006, also filed for Chapter 11. And on Feb. 24, Hearst said it may shut down the San Francisco Chronicle if costs can't be cut or a buyer found.
摘自 www.businessweek.com
The bloodied newspaper business keeps getting redder all over. On Feb. 21, Journal Register, owner of 20 daily newspapers including the New Haven Register, declared bankruptcy. The company was staggering under $692 million in debt, much of it taken on through the 2004 acquisition of four papers in economically depressed Michigan. Two days after Journal Register's filing, Philadelphia Media Holdings, which bought the Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News from McClatchy in 2006, also filed for Chapter 11. And on Feb. 24, Hearst said it may shut down the San Francisco Chronicle if costs can't be cut or a buyer found.
摘自 www.businessweek.com
可能造成歐洲崩潰的帳單
The bill that could break up Europe
Tumbling exchange rates, gaping current-account deficits, fearsome foreign-currency borrowings and nasty recessions: these sound like the ingredients of a distant third-world-debt crisis from the 1980s and 1990s. Yet in Europe the mess has been cooked up closer to home, in east European countries, many of them now members of the European Union. One consequence is that older EU countries will find themselves footing the bill for clearing it up.
Many west Europeans, faced with severe recession at home, will see this as outrageously unfair. The east Europeans have been on a binge fuelled by foreign investment, the desire for western living standards and the hope that most would soon be able to adopt Europe’s single currency, the euro. Critics argue that some east European countries were ill-prepared for EU membership; that they have botched or sidestepped reforms; and that they have wasted their borrowed billions on construction and consumption booms. Surely they should pay the price for their own folly.
Yet if a country such as Hungary or one of the Baltic three went under, west Europeans would be among the first to suffer. Banks from Austria, Italy and Sweden, which have invested and lent heavily in eastern Europe, would see catastrophic losses if the value of their assets shrivelled. The strain of default, combined with atavistic protectionist instincts coming to the fore all over Europe, could easily unravel the EU’s proudest achievement, its single market.
Indeed, collapse in the east would quickly raise questions about the future of the EU itself. It would destabilise the euro—for some euro members, such as Ireland and Greece, are not in much better shape than eastern Europe. And it would spell doom for any chance of further enlarging the EU.
取自http://www.economist.com
Tumbling exchange rates, gaping current-account deficits, fearsome foreign-currency borrowings and nasty recessions: these sound like the ingredients of a distant third-world-debt crisis from the 1980s and 1990s. Yet in Europe the mess has been cooked up closer to home, in east European countries, many of them now members of the European Union. One consequence is that older EU countries will find themselves footing the bill for clearing it up.
Many west Europeans, faced with severe recession at home, will see this as outrageously unfair. The east Europeans have been on a binge fuelled by foreign investment, the desire for western living standards and the hope that most would soon be able to adopt Europe’s single currency, the euro. Critics argue that some east European countries were ill-prepared for EU membership; that they have botched or sidestepped reforms; and that they have wasted their borrowed billions on construction and consumption booms. Surely they should pay the price for their own folly.
Yet if a country such as Hungary or one of the Baltic three went under, west Europeans would be among the first to suffer. Banks from Austria, Italy and Sweden, which have invested and lent heavily in eastern Europe, would see catastrophic losses if the value of their assets shrivelled. The strain of default, combined with atavistic protectionist instincts coming to the fore all over Europe, could easily unravel the EU’s proudest achievement, its single market.
Indeed, collapse in the east would quickly raise questions about the future of the EU itself. It would destabilise the euro—for some euro members, such as Ireland and Greece, are not in much better shape than eastern Europe. And it would spell doom for any chance of further enlarging the EU.
取自http://www.economist.com
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